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Kitchens, Part 6

not by doors. This is done with what they call a “vertical foil. What this really means is that a thin layer of plastic will be glued onto the existing cabinet surfaces. Once on for 24 hours it will not come off. It is called “vertical” because it is designed for vertical surfaces and will not slowly slide downwards from the gentle force of gravity.

If there is a visible “back” to a cabinet then that too has to be covered. There is an extra charge for each square foot — about $25.

Salesmen are often screwed by the company on cabinets. All sorts of excuses are made for why the job cost more to do than he had estimated. The extra cost will come from his commission. The salesman will … PACK … THIS … JOB. More on that later.


The counter tops are usually demonstrated by the salesman by his opening a huge carrying case with over a hundred colors and textures of counter top material. Each has a letter and a number on the back.

Because counter tops are usually selected after the cabinets are selected, this all grinds down into some migraine generating cat fight as the wife compares and contrasts counter top colors and textures with cabinet colors and textures and the husband loses interest and the wife almost goes after him with a large serrated knife.

The salesman feels for the husband and thanks his lucky stars that he is not married to what has slowly become this estrogen overloaded shrew. This is especialy true if it is now 11 o’clock at night.

While the counters and the cabinets all have different pricing, the averages used herein are reasonable approximations of reality.

How long will it take?

How long will it take to do your kitchen? It will take about three weeks to get the materials and even another three weeks of travail for the kitchen to be completed. The “skilled craftsmen” will need you to have everything removed from your cabinets for them to do the work. You could remove everything from your kitchen cabinets the day you sign the contract, or you could wait until the contractor calls you and says they really, really (for really real this time) are ready and that they will be there in the morning.

Did you just discover that you will be eating at a restaurant for a few weeks?

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